Nursery progress

     I told myself towards the end of my second trimester of pregnancy, just around the time that we had finished painting the nursery, that it was okay to not have the nursery ready by the time baby came. After all, he would probably hang out in our room any way for at least the first six months. Which, so far, he has been doing. Needless to say progress on the nursery has been slow. Today I got two things done in there that I have been wanting to do. I got a curtain rod hung so now my Mom can measure the length and make the curtains for the window. 

     I also got a quilt hung that I’ve been wanting up. It’s a Baby R Us quilt that is oh so perfect for my woodland animal theme.

     It also has matching wall hangings and a matching lamp.

     So, so cute.

     Grandma also spent hours making tiny pom poms to string across the ceiling of the nursery. Eventually I want to add string lights up there too. 

     I also painted a painting. I blacked out part of the art work because it is another persons work and is copyrighted. At least you can get an idea of what the painting looks like. I just printed it and decoupaged it on this painting. It the cutest little water color of a tiny bear cub. The lettering and flowers were my own. I still have a few more of these paintings I want to do.

The day my world stood still

     I know I’ve been pretty quite for nine months. Well about nine months and three weeks give or take a little. 

     I was given a little.

     A baby little. A tiny piece of heaven. My very own teeny slice of pie.

     That was the day my world stood still.

     Transition, transition transition. Transitioning out of an 8 hour day to a schedule I still don’t understand. Being a Mom is definitely more work than a nine to five. I doesn’t stop. You go to take a shower, make a meal or vacuum and that’s when you hear it. The not so silent alarm asking to be fed, changed or my personal favorite… cuddled. Oh, I could cuddle him for hours. Hours and hours.

     This little piece of heaven is a little porker. Pork, pork, porkin’ every two and a half to three hours. 

     Backtracking about three weeks…this is my favorite picture of the day.

     I know. The picture doesn’t seem like much but I know what is going on there. Daddy is holding his son for the first time. Mr. Man has wanted to be Daddy since grade school. It was a long and winding road to this day and this moment. What you can’t see are the big alligator tears Daddy is crying with his back turned. We were both having a moment but I was the one with the camera. 

     Labor wasn’t very long. I was admitted at 7:30 in the morning. My OB accidentally broke my water about then. I had baby at 6:37 at night. It got difficult toward the end. Baby was stuck and his face was facing up when it should have been facing down. He was stuck and starting to get stressed. Around 6 another surgeon came in and she was able to turn him. He came out soon after with a big bruise and tiny cut on his head. Other than that though he was perfection blinking up at me with his tiny blue eyes. At least I think they are blue. Jury is still out on that. What do you think?

     Blink blink…

     This pic gives you an idea of how I felt that day. 

     Exhausted. But oh so full of joy.

     Daddy was too. You can see the tears in this pic but they are happy ones.

December post

     I figured I’d better do at least one post before the New Year. It will just be a run down of the past couple of months. I’ve been in hiding and deep thought as my world was changed in the blink of an eye one morning back in October. This is what changed.

    Yup. Mmmm Hmmmm. It’s official. We started a journey and there is no going back. I’m sure many moms throughout history have felt like they have no idea what they are doing but I can tell you that I have never felt so alone. Other than my husband who is always there for me I have been processing fear as if I was in a batting cage with balls of it being thrown at me in distinctly timed intervals…and I don’t like baseball!! Can I get off this ride please? It would be fine if calamity didn’t strike as soon as you find out your life is going to change forever. At a time when we really need to be saving EVERY penny, my husband threw his back out and is off work without pay for three weeks. I’m hoping it’s just three. I hate seeing him this way. Leaning on a cane and in all sorts of pain.

    Oh God how are we gonna get through this month let alone the next seven? 

     Deep breath. It is well with my soul. We will be ok. God has always come through.

     Then there is a bunch of other things happening that are both good and heartbreaking that I can’t get into here. I feel like a raw ball of emotions. 

     I’d rather distract myself than continue talking about all of that. So here is my past couple of weeks via phone pics.

Belvedere immediately claiming and furry-fying my new white IKEA couch. 

The crack fits the fat oh so nicely.

Oh it makes me mad but he’s so darn cute. I can’t kick his fat furry body off. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Brewster prefers harder surfaces.

Weirdo.

But I'll keep him.

Funny boy.

Belly has also claimed Daddy’s new Pappa chair. The only thing Dad wanted for baby was a recliner to sit and rock baby in. That was Daddy’s Christmas present…and apparently Boos too. 

Anything soft and squishy is fair game for him.

Isn’t he beautiful. Glammer shot kitty.

Brewster enjoys squishy things too sometimes. They have a great fur fest on moms furniture. I go through lint rollers weekly. 

     I did get my dish hutches painted. They turned out exactly as I had hoped they would.

Belvedere takes over my bed as well.

     I found out the week before Christmas that I would be hosting Christmas Eve Fondue. A family tradition. Tables of fondues and things to dip in them and a hefty sized crowd of Wub’s immediate family. I was so sick the weekend before Christmas and didn’t know how I was going to get the house ready. Thank God, Wub’s parents came over and helped me get the whole place clean. Morning sickness had taken over and made life difficult. I also hosted his parents and brother for Christmas brunch and then the whole family came over again for Christmas Dinner. Somehow Wubs and I pulled that together. 

I have been sleeping the past couple of days.

And thats my month in a nut-shell.

Marvelous

     I’ve been published! My story on “The Lemon” and how I came to own my Oldsmobile Intrigue is part of a compilation of stories edited and printed in the book “Marvelous: Amazing Stories Of Answered Prayer.” It was sort of a fun thing to be included in. I really have better stories of answered prayer but we had to limit the number of words and it would take more than the allotted to write out some of the other ones. 
     Sorry I have been neglecting this blog of late...again. I have been under the weather for a  while now...shuffling around in my PJ's trying to drum up motivation that never came...this is just one of the fun things that has happened for me in the past couple of weeks...more to come.

Friends and Fur Babies

     This weekend we traveled to Redmond Oregon to Eagle Crest Resort to stay with friends for the weekend. They moved last year and we missed them greatly. After spending a couple days there I can see why they moved. This is just a short walk from their front door:

     Doesn’t it look like a postcard?

     I needed nature this weekend. I needed friends. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time. There was scene after scene of this beauty:

     I think I would move in a heart beat if Andrew could find work there. What I can't relay in pictures is the smell. Juniper trees offered a sweet pine scent and you just can't duplicate fresh country air blowing across wide open spaces. The contrast of where we live and there is well, shall I say...stark. I love my life in Portland. Don't get me wrong. I just know in my heart of hearts I'm a country chic through and through. I like to look up and see stars. I like to walk out the door and smell nature:

     Another thing about Redmond were the fur babies. They were every-where. I'm in love with their ears:

     Don't you just want to pet them? Run your hands along the back?  Oh there were ears for miles:

      Fur babies get a little skittish if you make sudden movements but for the most part don't mind if you are a few feet away from them. These particular fur babies have been a little domesticated. They reside in and around Eagle Crest resort and all the tourist coming and going keep them very well fed. You can buy grain for them as our friends had. They come right up to their back porch because they know where the suckers live. "If I stand here long enough someone will throw something yummy in my direction":

    Look at the curly fur in this ones ears:

     Sweet little bambi faces. I was in fur baby heaven:

     There were other fur babies too:

     Swishy tail swishy tail. "You got Yums?"

     You could pay to go horse-back riding there if you want but I was happy just saying hello.

We took a few walks while we were there. My friendship and nature cup got topped off...Such a great weekend.

The Best Kind Of Birthday Weekend

MMMMM HMMMMM

     I’ve also been having great fun Autumn-fying my front porch. My two new adirondack chairs were begging for a small table between them.

     I found just the right round side table at my favorite "find things cheep and cute for your home" store. Ross.

     Now all I have to do is get rid of my ugly fry guy bushes & the front of my house will be perfect. Wubs always walks by them and says, “I hate these things.” Then he does a whole comedic routine about how he imagines they are reaching out to grab him. In case you missed what I’m talking about:

     Apparently the previous owners of this home had a thing for trees. There is another interesting one in the back that Wubs wants to get rid of. Every single tree on our property is “special”. I enjoy most of them but the two fry guys…not so much.  They do look rather menacing on either side of our front steps. Hey, if you don’t want a dog just scare away those solicitors with creepy grabby bushes. 

     They don’t work as well though. My door bell still gets rung…word to the wise about living in postage stamp sized plot of land communities…your doorbell will get rung A LOT. It’s just too convenient for those door to door sales people to have house upon house piled on top of each other. Only a few steps away is another “golden opportunity.” LOL. That, my sloping driveway, and the cluttered parking conditions are the very few things I don’t like about this house.

     In other news I got my hair done for my birthday. It always is a confidence booster.

     I went back to having bangs. I'm LOVING it. I already had ombre and I brought some of the highlights up further. 
     Happy dance.
Then I came home to this on the table:

     Birthday roses and a box of good and plenty's. He knows me he does :) I'm officially SPOILED. And...I've eaten half the box of good and plenty's already. 
     I spent last night watching Wubs install the surround sound around our family room. The TV move created more work for him than he expected. He had to go out three times last night to get the correct amount and size of cable to reach around the top of the room. Right now there is cables all over my family room. It's a work in progress. I sent him upstairs to relax a little. He's done more than enough for me this past month! For sure.

Trying To Keep It Light

     I’ve been trying to keep it light. My heart that is. Trying to ignore the things that weigh it down. Shifting things around in my head to make it appear like there is nothing there to be concerned about. Hiding all my fears and insecurities behind imagined pure white perfect walls of everything good and holy. Trouble is my sub conscience is all too aware of everything stashed in hiding. I honestly secretly dread birthday weeks. They bring the reality of my existence to the forefront of my brain, out from behind the pristine walls of my own making where my tangle of top side matter leans to the heavy end. I wish I was one of those people that woke up happy and for the most part remained that way for the rest of the day. I’m just not. I’m sure God had a reason for making me such a “feeler” but these are the weeks I wish I could flick a happy switch and just be…well…happy. I get massively introspective and looking inward with such intensity creates a downward momentum of dissatisfaction. The never ending pursuit of wanting to be ok with “self”.

     I’m in rare form tonight. It’s the whole birthday thing. I’m trying not to think too hard but my life feels very shallow at the moment. I’m trying to enjoy my new couch and dish hutches and not think of the debt incurred by their acquisition or about those in my life that have nothing. I’m trying to forget the newest story of heart break and tragedy from the ISIS terror taking over parts of the world. Here is the latest email:

     RUN Ministries president Eric Watt spoke candidly, but carefully. His voice wavered at times under the strain of emotion as he retold a story from a letter he'd received the day before. It was from a man whose village had been completely destroyed by ISIS.

"Both he and his wife were herded into a big outdoor corral to be sorted like cattle. The man however, refused to be separated from his wife. Terrorists then moved them to the side and seemingly passed them by. But the following day, the man wrote, a gang of 100 -- each carrying stones surrounded he and his wife. They were told if they could outrun the stones, ISIS would let them live. Otherwise, because they had broken Sharia law, they would die. The man and his wife desperately tried to outrun the flying stones, but because his wife was already weakened from sickness, she didn't make it."

Eric also explained that RUN volunteers, scouring the northern Iraq mountains, found the man and brought him to a "Community of Hope" refugee camp where he has been receiving water, food, shelter and protection.

Barely able to contain his emotion, Eric continued, "I can't imagine the pain that he must be feeling, yet he still found the strength to write -- thanking those who are helping to end the terror by providing a place of safety and peace."

You simply don’t forget something like this.

     I just want to cry. I want things to change and be better but they seem to bump along in their sameness. I want the deep places that hurt in this world to be whole. 

     As you can see, I haven’t been very successful keeping it light. Thank you, if you’ve read this far, for allowing me to prattle on about the things that make my heart hurt. Writing helps me get it out in a less “liquid” form.

The following Psalm is my prayer tonight.

     Let the morning will bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way to go for to You I entrust my life (Psalm 143:8).