Weekends always
go by way too fast. Friday night I did all my Saturday errands because I knew I
would be cooking most of the morning and afternoon Saturday. I made two batches of spice cake cupcakes
with maple frosting, beef stew, BBQ meatballs, and a macaroni salad. I was
going to try a recipe a friend suggested for healthy chocolates but I ran out
of time before we had a dinner guest over. The Stew was for our dinner guest Kelly
John. She’s another friend who saved me from homelessness in that awkward phase
of life between college and marriage. The salad, meatballs and cupcakes were
for our churches prophetic creativity festival they held today. They did a big
pot-luck.
I always get
nervous when my church hosts these events. They force me to be social. I feel
like I always say the wrong things or don’t know how to keep conversations
going. During worship a momma in the house came over to me because she felt
like she had a word for me. She said she saw a rainbow over me and the word
hope. She then went on to asking me about being on the worship team again and I
went into an explanation about how I need God to heal me from a whole lot of
insecurities before I ever get up there again. She said like she felt she saw a
hammer and God was breaking whatever was the root of my insecurity. I started
to tear up. We finished our conversation just as our churches dance team got up
to do a dance / skit they had prepared. I had never heard the song they were
dancing to but the skit was about someone breaking out of bondage into freedom
and was very moving. It represented that battle of good and evil that we must
face to gain victory. What is one of the first things the “good” dancer does?
She pics up a yellow flag with the word HOPE boldly written across it and waves
it over the head of the person in the middle of their spiritual war. And oh
yeah…what is this dancer representing the voice of God wearing? Why a head to
toe flow-y rainbow dress that moves beautifully with her graceful dance…I lost
it…I always forget to pack tissues when I go to these things. You think I would
learn by now!! I already knew the answer when I asked the lady that gave me her
word later if she had seen the dance before this morning. The answer was no.
God is always doing things like this. Arranging things. Speaking clearly. Way
too coincidental to be coincidence. It is not that I am without hope. It’s just
that I have been (in the past!!) over this particular area in my life. I’ve felt
like I would always deal with this less than, they are better than me, I guess
I better go eat worms view of myself. I think it is part of why being social
has bothered me so.
We ate then
another momma in the church prayed for us about the fear of having children.
There is a particular song that has really ministered to me of late. She
grabbed are hand and was silent for a while but began praying exactly when the
song I have had on repeat the last few weeks started to play:
It was a sweet
prayer and she stopped praying just as the song ended. She said that we were
hitting the reset button on things that have happened in our generational
lines. That I was going to know the love of the Father in a greater measure
when I had a little one to love. She had a word for Andrew that he wasn’t only
a Dad but a Grandpa as well. She mentioned that it might sound weird but to me
it made total sense. If you spend any time with Andrew it just makes sense. Not
that he acts like an old man but the way he interacts with people I knew what
she meant right away. It’s not easy to explain though. You just have to get to
know him I guess. It was a sweet morning and a sweet day.
I spent the rest
of my Sunday being a little less spiritual. I finished the second book of the
Hunger Games series and I’m currently on the third. I find it funny the target
audience of the book is teens. The whole story seems incredibly dark. But it is
a page turner so…I turn the pages…
This little sleepy marmot provided extra entertainment.
This is an official Brewster “thing” now. It’s a little disconcerting
to be stared at so from above.
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